Reflect. Adjust. Repeat.

Quiet Rise
Jul 13
5 min read

How do you know if what you're doing is working?

Facing Reality, Information I Couldn’t Ignore

May 13, 2023, I'll never forget that date.

It was the day I sat in my primary care physician's office to review my lab results.

I was terrified to go to that appointment because deep down, I already knew the news wasn't going to be good.

Sometimes we know when the things we're doing aren't serving us well anymore. We know when our habits, routines, or circumstances are moving us further away from the life we want to live. But it's amazing what we can hide from when the evidence builds slowly enough to feel normal.

That morning, the scale read 373.3 pounds, a number I will never forget.

I started crying immediately, not because the number itself defined me, but because it represented years of frustration, failed attempts, shame, regret, and feeling like I had somehow lost control of my own story.

Then my doctor told me I officially had Type 2 diabetes. I was 33 years old.

Suddenly my mind was racing with questions and worst-case scenarios about what this meant for my future.

How did I get here?

What does this mean for my future?

How am I supposed to fix all of this?

I left that appointment feeling overwhelmed by the information in front of me and unsure where to begin.

Finding the Next Most Important Thing

I walked out with new medications, research to do, appointments to schedule, blood sugar testing, blood pressure monitoring, and more.

The problem wasn't diabetes; the problem was that I was trying to solve everything at once.

So instead of asking:

"How do I fix my life?"

I started asking:

"What's the next most important thing to focus on that will help me move forward?"

That question changed everything.

Turning Overwhelm into Focus Areas

One giant overwhelming problem became a series of smaller, manageable, actionable focus areas:

Pick up medications and add them to my schedule.
Purchase a blood pressure cuff and blood glucose monitor.
Schedule appointments.
Create routines for testing and monitoring.
Establish an at-home weigh-in schedule.

At that appointment, my doctor had encouraged me to speak with the medical weight loss team and initially I flat out refused. The backstory as to why was because, several years prior, I had attended a seminar about weight loss surgery at a different hospital and had a terrible experience. The lack of care and sensitivity left me feeling less than because I was obese. It is a feeling that, unfortunately, is not uncommon amongst people who struggle with weight.

Instead of pushing, my Primary Care Physician (PCP) simply asked if I would be willing to meet with the nurse practitioner who managed the Medical Weight loss program because she believed it would be a valuable conversation.

I agreed, and a few weeks later, after meeting with the medical weight loss team, my list grew.

Meet with a dietitian.
Increase protein intake.
Reduce eating out.
Cook dinners at home.
Schedule a sleep study.

What I didn't realize at the time was that I had stumbled into the same process I now use for nearly every major transition: break a massive life change into manageable focus areas, prioritize them, and focus on one or two things at a time before moving on to what comes next.

I wasn't trying to completely change my life overnight.

I was trying to become slightly more aligned with the life I wanted to build every day.

Using Reflection to Adjust Your Course

Here’s the part that mattered most.

I reflected.

Every week I stopped and asked myself:

What worked this week?
What didn't work this week?
Am I ready to take on another focus area?
What might prevent me from succeeding next week?
Has new information changed my priorities?

After my sleep study, getting and using a CPAP became one of my top priorities because it impacted my surgery timeline.

Reflection allowed my plan to evolve instead of becoming so rigid that I couldn't adapt when priorities changed or new information emerged.

This is where I think many of us get stuck.

We identify what's changing, prioritize what’s most important, and we execute according to that plan. However, if we never stop to reflect on whether our approach is actually working, eventually we can lose the intended direction or miss opportunities that present themselves.

The reality is that plans will change, priorities will shift, and new information should influence our decisions.

At the same time, I knew any changes I made needed to be sustainable.

Changing slowly and building habits instead of temporary commitments was the only way my life was actually going to change.

Execution wasn’t perfect, but when something didn't work, I didn't treat it as failure.

I treated it as information then adjusted and moved forward.

Why Compassion Matters During Change

I also want to publicly thank my PCP and the medical weight loss team. They met me with compassion instead of judgment and understanding instead of shame. The judgment-free environment they created allowed me to stop focusing on blaming myself and start focusing on making forward progress.

Their compassion, expertise, and support saved my life.

My bariatric surgery was on December 12, 2023. Prior to surgery, I lost 68 pounds through medication, nutrition changes, exercise, and sustainable habits that were built over time.

Looking Back

I wouldn’t have made progress if I tried to change everything overnight, and none of it would have lasted if I didn’t intentionally reflect on what was and wasn't working along the way.

Reflection is information that helps us learn from our experiences, adjust our approach when needed, and continue moving forward with intention instead of simply reacting to whatever comes next.

Looking back, I realize this experience followed the same four stages I now use to think about change:

Notice What's Feeling Off | What's Feeling Off? Worksheet

Sometimes the first sign of a transition isn't a major event or decision. It's simply the feeling that something isn't quite working anymore. Before we can move forward, we need to create space to understand what feels out of alignment and why.

Understand Your Pivot | Pivot Map Workbook

Once we recognize that something is changing, we can begin to explore what that change means, what areas of life it affects, and what moving forward might require.

Focus Your Energy | Pivot Compass

Not everything deserves your attention at once. Identifying the next most important thing helps transform overwhelm into intentional action by breaking large changes into manageable focus areas.

Reflect and Adjust | Quiet Rise Check-In Guide

Meaningful change isn't linear. Reflection helps us evaluate what's working, learn from what isn't, and adjust our approach as we continue moving forward intentionally.

If you're in the middle of a transition, perhaps take a moment to consider:

What feels most important right now?
What deserves your attention this week?
How will you know if the direction you're moving in is actually working?

Because clarity doesn't come from doing more.

It comes from understanding what actually needs to change, focusing your energy intentionally, and giving yourself permission to adjust along the way.

My progress didn’t come from having the perfect plan. It came from reflecting, adjusting, and continuing to take the next right step forward.

At 33 years old, I walked out of that appointment feeling like my life had changed all at once.

Everything that came next happened one small adjustment at a time.

Clarity doesn't come from doing more.

It comes from understanding what actually needs to change.

A note on visuals

Some visuals are thoughtfully created using AI to reflect the ideas and experiences shared, rather than a specific moment.

Disclaimer

This content is based on personal experience and is intended for reflection and informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional advice.