There Is Never a Perfect Time to Start
- Quiet Rise
- Jul 27
- 4 min read
Sometimes the moments we want to forget become the ones that change our lives.
A Date I'll Never Forget
When I was 25 years old, I decided to try online dating.
At the time, I was struggling in ways I didn't fully recognize. I couldn't see it, but I was in denial about my weight gain and its impact on both my health and my confidence. I had developed such a toxic relationship with the scale that I avoided it completely. Because I refused to acknowledge the number, I also struggled to acknowledge how much my appearance had changed.
As a result, my dating profile no longer accurately reflected what I looked like. It wasn't intentional, nor was it an attempt to mislead anyone. It was simply the reality of someone who hadn't yet accepted where they were.
One evening, I had plans to meet a guy I'd been talking to online. We decided to meet in downtown Portsmouth. We parked in the same garage, walked to a pizza restaurant around the corner, and were seated.
The waitress brought us water and gave us a few minutes to look over the menu. A few moments later, he excused himself to use the restroom.
While he was gone, I looked over the drink menu.
After about five minutes, I remember thinking,
"He's been gone a while. I hope everything's okay."
But underneath that thought was another feeling, one that created a pit in my stomach and made me want to disappear behind my menu.
The waitress came back, and I told her I needed another minute.
Trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, I waited another five minutes before sending him a text.
"Are you okay?"
No response.
Five more minutes passed and the feeling in my stomach got worse.
I finally sent another message.
"Did you leave?"
Deep down, I already knew the answer.
Trying to hold back the embarrassment and humiliation that was building inside me, I simply smiled and said to the waitress,
"I'm really sorry, but I'm going to head out. I got ditched."
I stood up, walked out of the restaurant, and drove home.
The Lesson I Didn't Expect
Looking back, I know why I sent that last text.
I didn't need confirmation that he had left. That had already become painfully obvious.
I needed him to acknowledge what he had done, to own it.
Eventually, he responded and admitted he had left. From what I remember, I basically told him he was a coward.
Maybe I wasn't what he expected, but there were countless ways he could have handled the situation with kindness and honesty. A simple conversation would have shown far more character than disappearing through the back door.
I left that restaurant feeling humiliated, ashamed, and worthless.
After I had time to process two truths have stayed with me ever since.
His decision reflected his character, not my worth.
I couldn’t let one painful experience keep me from moving forward.
Why I'm Glad I Didn't Wait
Afterward, some of my family members worried about me. They saw the pain and frustration and didn’t want me to go through that type of hurt. They suggested I stop dating for a while, focus on losing weight, and try dating again once I felt more confident.
On the surface, that advice made sense.
Wait until I'm the version of myself I want to become.
But I didn't listen. More accurately, I intentionally chose to move forward because it was the right thing for me.
The very next first date I went on was with the man who is now my husband. (That’s a story for another blog.)
When I spend time reflecting on this beautiful life I’ve built, I often think about how differently it could have turned out.
What if I had let one person's actions convince me that I wasn't ready?
What if I had decided I needed to lose the weight first?
What if I had waited until everything felt perfect?
If I had waited, I might never have met my husband. It's incredible to think that one person's actions could have changed the course of my life if I had given them that power.
There Is Never a Perfect Time to Start
That experience taught me something much bigger than a lesson about dating. It taught me that there is rarely a perfect time to make a change.
We tell ourselves we'll start after...
We lose the weight.
We get the promotion.
We save more money.
Life slows down.
The kids get older.
The holidays are over.
Monday.
Next month.
But life has a funny way of replacing one busy season with the next.
If we keep waiting for the perfect moment, we may spend our lives waiting.
Start Before You Feel Ready
If you're trying to improve your health and today's meals didn't go as planned, don't wait until tomorrow.
Make your next meal a little better.
If you're considering a career change or believe you've earned a raise, don't wait until you feel 100% ready.
Have the conversation.
Apply for the job.
Ask for feedback.
Progress doesn't require perfection, it requires action.
Life doesn't wait for everything to fall into place and neither should you.
There will always be another excuse and another reason to wait.
But the life you want isn't built by waiting until everything is perfect, it’s built one imperfect step at a time.
You don't have to jump into the deep end of the pool to learn how to swim.
But you do have to get in the pool.
Just start.
Then...
Reflect. Adjust. Repeat.
Ready to Get in the Pool?
If today's blog resonated with you, I've created a few resources to help you begin:
Explore Quiet Rise Coaching if you're ready to navigate your next chapter with someone in your corner.
Clarity doesn't come from doing more.
It comes from understanding what actually needs to change.
A note on visuals
Some visuals are thoughtfully created using AI to reflect the ideas and experiences shared, rather than a specific moment.
Disclaimer
This content is based on personal experience and is intended for reflection and informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional advice.
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